So you thought I was gone!?  I really didn't think about it, there has been a lot of life altering experiences in my life and they engulf my story.  I won't share them at this time, because some pain is yours to keep, because others haven't earned the right to know my story and if I let go maybe I'm afraid I will lose even more of them.

Two weeks ago I started back to walking with my trusted friend Tribi (my boxer/pitbull mix) she is a blessing to me and is a big part of getting started back, I could say it is because I'm motivated to lose weight or get in shape but this is a lie. I feel she deserves to walk/run and I love seeing her get excited to run free or jump in the water on our hikes over our land.

So the deal is this week I started on the P90X stretching dvd, I will incorporate a few other P90X disciplines to my fitness as I see fit, the stretch was hard but totally awesome, my lower back lock-up is gone and I feel so much more flexibility now.  I will keep that at least once a week, I also want to do the P90X yogo and kempo and plyometrics.
I have been walking/hiking/running approximately 13 miles per week, I have no rhym or reason to it at this point, but I am out there.
I will get back in the water soon, I do miss it, but at this point I don't want to go to the Y and have to change in the dressing room and feel all clammy, lakes are so much better.
Bike...don't know what I'm going to do with that yet.

For now my goal is to get in as much fitness as I can, hopefully lose weight and get back into my size 12 summer clothes...

That is it for now.

Getting there.

I have just about made that two week period of getting in some great fitness, I always say if you can get through that two weeks without quiting than it is smoother sailing, because now you have invested time in reaching toward your goal and you don't want to give that hard work up without a fight.
I have been sore and tired, but I believe the results are going to start paying in spades if I don't give up, "it's always darkest before the dawn!"

I have been in the pool, running again, and doing funtional training with my trainer/daughter, it feels good to finally feel the desire again.
I am using the "lose it" app on my iphone and it really gives you an incentive to keep your calories in check each day and you want to get fitness in every day to watch the deletion of calories burned for the day.  I hate logging anything, but I have to say this one has gotten my interest, so try the "lose it" app!

I will weigh in two weeks, I don't want to get on there now and blow my mind if I haven't lost!  So I'm backing away from the scale.

My favorite thing to do right now is swim, believe it or not I used to feel so awkward in the pool, but after getting some training last year with Severin at Bob's Gym I feel pretty good in the water, no I just need to do workout and get more speed.
Running is hard.  RaceWalking is my passion.  The only reason I'm running at this point is to lose weight and I really feel I need to run in triathlons, and I would like to do the Nashville Half this year with my duaghter if her foot is healed by then.

It has been a challenge getting my head in the right place, but I think I'm back!

holding my breath

Each time I start again I hold my breath wondering can I make it 2 weeks, if so I know I have beat my negative mind from holding me back...

My legs are very sore from the run workout on the track at the Y Friday, that is a good thing though, right!? Yes. 
We had a wonderful dinner with family last night, and I actually decided to take Tribi (dog) on a mile walk afterwards, it was great to feel the desire again!!!  I hope that feeling is here to stay with a little help from "positive attitude!"

I'm watching motivational triathlon utube videos today, they almost always inspire me to go for the challenge.  I'm also planning out my training week today, and it might be extreme but I'm going to try and stay at the Y much longer each day to fit in classes, swimming and running...  It's all in "my" attitude alone, no one else is responsible for that except "me!"

Go Amy, Go Amy!!!

not feeling it...

since the first of the year and selling my business and doing the cleanse which I came off of yesterday, i haven't wanted to walk, run, weight train, bike, swim or do anything. i just don't feel like me, and not having a busy schedule is harder than i imagined.

Lee (my son) made me go to the Y with him today and I went to the track upstairs and decided to do a warm-up, and then do some fartlek training to get my heartrate up and maybe to show me something about myself.  I stretched and cool-down. do i think this is the turning point!? No.  do i think i will start going next week in hopes that i will find myself!? Yes.

the cleanse. it's over, and i lost 13lbs. do i feel better physically!? yes. am i hungry all the time!? yes.  dr M said my goal should be to stay off sugar for 3 months; i will try.

Cleanse the body and mind

Instead of maintaining my weight over the holidays I gained 20lbs, I haven't exercised for 3 weeks.
Dr M thinks my thyroid and hormones are totally out of control and I have set up an appt with an endrocronologist.  I have always been afraid of hormone replacement because it seemed there was a lot of risk with women taking it and getting breat cancer, now I don't know what to do...I will wait on the adive of my endocronologist.

I am doing a body cleanse/detox, I'm on day 3, and hope I can make it to day 10...  The detox includes water, fruits, veggies, beans...that sounds ok but it is very hard to maintain, NO sugar or creamer in coffee, no bread, pasta, milk, NO potatoes, chips, softdrinks, sweetened tea, popcorn, meat, turkey, chicken, fish or tofu....It's killing me.
But this is supposed to cleanse you physically, emotionally and spiritually...all these non-organic chemicals, and hormoned meat, processed foods, additives and preservatives deaden your senses and take you out of touch with your body, maybe that is why we love them so much!!  So this is a challenge, plus I contrated a cold to irritate me.

I'm starting on my training next Wednesday, I will be done with the cleanse and my cold should be gone.

I am also trying to adjust to being someone without a job. I sold my business, so I'm no longer a manager, graphic designer, signmaker, business owner, or boss.  This is different and I haven't decided if I like it or not.

So I will "begin again" on Wednesday. 

Yesterday was great!!

You know those rare days where you feel you could conquer the world?  Yesterday was one of those, I had an awesome day at work were things actually got accomplished and I didn't feel I was spinning my wheels, got away at 3:30 to go with my son to the Y to workout, did a three mile treadmill workout which progressed from a 13:30 to a 9:50 pace which is not really ever been logged in my running book; since my trainer/daughter told me that spiking your heart rate burns fat better than an even monotonous pace I decided to break down each mile to three pace levels( 3/10's 13:30 fast walking pace, 6/10's 12:30 jogging pace, 1/10 9:50) heart rate went between 155-166.  I actually didn't think I had it in my to run at all any more, I just haven't felt it since my full marathon in April 2010.  I hope this is a turning point in my attitude and mental struggle to be the fit Amy I was three years ago, it is so hard to maintain workouts and healthy eating in this hectic and fast track world.
Don't know when I'm getting on the scale to see any results, the scale has never been my friend, it always betrays me and destroys a perfectly good day, so maybe I just need to do tough love and keep it out of my life for a while....it's like a train wreck, you just can't help but look.

It's tough out there!!

It's tough to get fit, the world is full of distractions and enticement to eat unhealthy or just be lazy!!
I have managed to do some physical exercise the past four days and today I was planning a swim, but it might just turn into a run/walk outside, with work, house, family and friends, it's hard to just stay focused on the goal.
I feel if I lose 10, I will feel I have begun to beat the beast so to speak, so I am going to keep my sword drawn to slay the beast of impluse eating and the desire to sit in my comfy chair instead of go out and run.  This is when it's the toughest...the first two to three weeks in because it's to easy to say this is not worth it, or I will never lose weight anyway.  Your mind has to take over where your body is weak.

Note to self: you are so much stronger than you realize! Smack!! Wake up, you can do this!!